NO PLAYS EXCHANGED 



Bugbee's Popular Plays 

Patsy Dugans 
Christinas 

OR 

Santa From Clausville 



By 

Marie Irish 



Price 25 Cents 



The Willis N. Bugbee Co. 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



THE BUGBEE ENTERTAINMENTS 

ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE 

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Bugbee^s Popular Plays 

Patsy Dugans 
Christmas 

OR 



Santa From ClausviUe 



By 

Marie Irish 



Copyright, 1922, by WiUis N. Bugbee 



THE WILLIS N. BDGBEE GO 

SYRACUSE, NY, 



^^. 



.■^ 



5 






Patsy Dugan s Christmas 



CHARACTERS 

Mr. Grim 

Mrs. Grim His Wife 

Tom Grim Their Long-Absent Son 

Simon Sour Their Boarder 

Josh Hooker Always Jolly 

Mrs Dugan Poor Working Woman 

Patsy Her Lame Son 

Sallib Smiles ] 

Fannie Faith [ The Three Graces 

Lettie Love J 

Girl who takes part of angel. 



NOl/ i 3 1922, 

' (QCI.D 628C6 

TMP 96- nn^si^ 7 7 



Patsy Dugan s Cliristmas 



Scene / — Plain living room in the Grim home. 
Discovered Mr. and Mrs. Grim and Simon Soub. 

Mrs. Grim, How I do love the Christmaa time. It seems to 
me it is the best time of the year. 

Mr. Grim. Yes, it's a merry time (sighs) but I wish we had a 
little more to spend. There are lots of folks I'd hke to do for. 

Simon Sour, Say, you two make me just tired. You make as 
much fuss over Christmas as if it amounted to something. You 
want to know what / think? I think Christmas is a sell from start 
to finish. 

Mrs. Grim. Oh, no, no, Mr. Sour, it is not. Just think of all 
the joy and good-will and kindness that Christmas brings. 

Simon Sour (snarling). Yes, joy an' kindness — with ev'rybody 
trying to get something out of folks. Nothing but give — give ! 

Mr. Grim. Well, I like to give. What's better than making 
folks happy? 

Simon Sour. None of it for mel I'm not going to waste a cent 
on any body this year an' I'll thank folks not to give me anything. 

Mrs. Grim. W'y, Simon Sour, you'd be a lot happier if you'd 
give some presents to some one who needs them. 

Simon Sour. I can't bother 'bout other folks. I've got myself 
to do for. I know some folks (looks from Grim to Mrs. G.) who 
give more'n they can afford to. No Christmas for me, an' I mean 
it. (Goes out angrily.) 

Mr. Grim (sadly). Well, Mary, I guess he spoke true. I guess 
we can't afford to give presents this year. Things are pretty hard 
for us an' we ought to be saving up for when we're old. Let's 
not spend any money on presents this Christmas. 

Mrs. Grim (slowly). I spose that will be best. We haven't any- 
thing to spare, an' you're not very well, Henry. 

Mr. Grim. I hate to do it, but let's be sensible and not buy 
anything for any one, not even each other. What do you say? 

Mrs. Grim. Well — all right, but it'll make a gloomy Christmaa 
for us. 

Mr. Grim. Tut, tut, we're too old to feel that way. Remember 
now, no presents. 

Mrs. Grim. All right. (Sighs.) I spose it's best. (Exit Mr. 
G.) Anyway I'm going to get yam an' make those slippers for 
Henry. He's got to have at least one present. 

(Enter Josh, whistling.) 

Josh. Good morning, Mrs. Grim. It's going to be a nice day — 
if it doesn't hail, or snow, or blow, or rain cats an' dogs. 

Mrs. Grim (acting surprised). Is that so? When did you be- 
come a prophet? 



4 PATSY DUGAN'S CHRISTMAS 

Josh. Oh, I'm practicing so's to get a paying position with the 
weather man. How you feehng? I'll bet you're fine if your noor- 
algy, or your dispepsy, or your roomjrtism, or your headache, or 
your corns aren't bothering you. 

Mrs. Grim (laughing). Say, Josh, what's the matter with you? 

Josh. Nothing — just jolly, as usual. Yes, there is something the 
matter. I want money to buy a wheel chair. 

Mrs. Grim. A wheel chair? A boy that looks as husky as you 
do? What you going to have happen to yourself? 

Josh. To tell the truth, it isn't for myself — it's for little Pat 
Dugan. You know^ how he's crippled and wouldn't a wheel chair 
make him a dandy Christmas present? Oh boy! how his eyes would 
shine. 

Mrs. Grim. I wish he could have one. He ought to, I'm sure. 

Josh. Well, I'm out taking up a collection to see if we can't 
buy him one. Can't you give something, Mrs. Grim? 

Mrs. Grim. Sure I will. (Pauses.) That is — well — {.aside) I 
won't tell Henry I gave it. (Gives Josh some money.) Here's fift}'^ 
cents and I hope you get enough to buy the chair. 

Josh. Oh, we'll get enough if ev'rybody helps us like you do. 
I'm going to see if Simon Sour will give something. 

Mrs. Grim. I'm afraid he won't. 

Josh. No, stingy ol' skin-flint, I spose not. He's got a lot of 
money but he's close as a miser. Well, I mus' go. Goodby. (Goes 
off singing.) 

Mrs. Grim. I'm not playing fair to Henry but I just had to 
help buy that wheel chair for Patsy, poor httle fellow. (Looks off.) 
It's so nice out I think I'll run over an' see Mis' Barnes a few 
minutes. (Exit.) 

(Enter Mr. Grim.) 

Mr. Grim. I'm glad Mary's gone; it'll give me a chance to hide 
the Christmas present I got her. (Pulls package from pocket.) I 
know we decided not to give any presents but I had to get this for 
'er. Can't let Christmas go by without this much. (Sighs.) Wish 
I was rich — I'd make a lot of folks happy. I'll hide this in the other 
room. (Exit.) 

(Enter Simon Sour.) 

Simon (crossly). Met that impudent, bold, brazen-faced, smart- 
Aleck of a Josh Hooker down the street and he tried to make me 
give half a dollar to help buy a chair for a lame boy. Half a dollar 
— me — just think of it! I told 'im where to git off an' I told him 
good an' plenty, the brass-mounted gazook — tryin' to make me give 
a half-a-dollar. I let 'im understand I don't believe in Christmas. 
It's a pack of foolishness. (Stalks out angrily.) 

(Enter Mr. Grim.) 

Mr. Grim. I've got that present hid where Mary won't find it. 
I spose she'll scold me for goin' back on our agreement but I can't 
help it. (Knock is heard; he admits the girls.) WeU, well, the three 
Graces 1 



PATSY DUGAN'S CHRISTMAS 5 

(Enter Sallie, Fannie and Lettie.) 

Sallie. No, Mr. Grim, not the real three graces; thej-'re Faith, 
Hope and Charitj-, while we're Faith, Love and Smiles. I think 
smiles are as good as hope though, don't you? 

Mr. Grim. Yes, because if a man can't smile there's no hope 
for 'im. 

Fannie. You know I'm (bows) Fannie Faith. 
Lettie. And I (bowing) am Lettie Love. 
Sallie, While I (bowing) am Sallie Smiles. 
Mr. Grim (bowing low). This is no news to me, seein' you all 
come over here every day or so to bother us 'bout something. I 
spose you've got some plan up your sleeves right this minute. 

Fannie (laughing). Yes, we have. We've formed a company 
of Faith, Love and Smiles to give Christmas cheer to a few people 
who need it. (Strikes pose and recites:) 

Though I'm only young Fannie Faith 
I ought to help some folks, because 
I'll make them believe in Christmas, 
And have Faith in Santa Claus. 

Lettie (recites dramatically) : 

We all should have Faith in Christmas, 
But I'm Lettie Love, so I know 
We should love every one at Christmas, 
And that love most gen'rously show. 

Sallie (pompously) : 

Faith and love help make your Christmas 

The very best day of the j^ear. 

But it takes our sunniest smiles 

To develop the real Christmas cheer. 

The Three Girls. And so we (each points proudly to herself) 
are going to make some folks have faith in Christmas by smiling 
upon them, showing them our love and thus making them smile. 

Mr. Grim. Well, that's fine but (pretends to be frightened) 
maybe my wife won't want you to be lovin' me. 

Fannie (as girls laugh) . Now don't you get scared. We're not 
going to love j^ou ; we want you to help love somebody else. 

Mr. Grim. How's that? 

Lettie. Our company of Faith, Love and Smiles wants to give 
old grandpa and grandma Morrison a good Christmas dinner and a 
present of some warm blankets. 

Sallie. And so, you see, we're out taking up a collection and we 
thought you'd help us a little, Mr. Grim. 

Mr. Grim. Sure, I will. I — (stops and thinks) — of course we 
— (Aside.) Mary will think I ought to keep my word but — I've — 
got to help those old folks — jest got to. (To girh.) I like the com- 
pany you've started an' I reckon you'll make Granddaddy Morrison 
an' his wife smile right out loud an' here's fifty cents to help you. 
Say (loud whisper) don't tell anybody I gave it to you. 

Fanny. You're just splendid and we thank you forty times. 



6 PATSY DUGAN'S CHRISTMAS 

Mr. Grim. Once is enough an' the three graces, Love, Faith an' 
Smiles are all right. {They say goodby and go out laughing). Mary'd 
think I'm an ol' tum-coat but — Christmas is Christmas. {Exit.) 

{Enter Mrs. Grim.) 

Mrs. Grim. I'm going to put my things on and rim over town. 
Poor old Mia' Barnes most cried 'cause she can't afford to buy j^am 
to knit mittens for her little gran'son's Christmas. I'm going to buy 
the yam — it won't cost much — and that can be my Christmas pre- 
sent to her, only I'll give it to her right away so she can knit the 
mittens. She'll be dreadful pleased. {Stops and thinks.) Oh, 
what '11 Henry say? We decided not to give any presents. Oh, dearl 
Of course we ought to save our money, {thinks) but — what's the 
good of Hving if we can't give a few Christmas presents. I won't 
tell him 'bout it. {Goes off with head up.) 

{Enter Simon Sour.) 

Simon Sour. Consam it! Plague take itl A man aint hardly 
safe on the street with his pocketbook. I went over next door to 
ask Samuel Howells if there was any news in the paper an' coming 
home three girls stopped me an' wanted some money to buy blankets 
for old Grandfather Morrison an' his wife. Wanted halj-a-dollar\ 
What you think of that? They must think I'm made of money. 
Askin' me for fifty cents 1 I guess I squelched 'em good an' plenty. 
Told 'em I don't believe in Christmas, an' don't believe in all this 
givin', I'm going to my room an' read, so's I won't get begged for 
any more money. Folks act like they want to send me to the poor- 
house. {Exit.) 

Curtain 

Scene II: Scene as before. 

{Discovered Mrs. Grim sewing.) 

Mrs. Grim. I've got this most done. I just couldn't let Christ- 
mas go by without giving Aunt Hepsy something and the cloth for 
this apron didn't cost much. Henry would say I wasn't to give it 
but — what he don't know won't hurt 'im. Sakes alive, here come the 
Graces. 

{Enter S'allie, Fannie and Lettie.) 

Sallie. How do you do, Mrs. Grim. We hope you are feeling 
real Christmasy because we want you to do something. 

Fannie. Something real Christmasy, but it is going to be nice 
and we're sure you'll enjoy it. 

Lettie. We want you and Mr. Grim to go to a Christmas party. 
Will you? 

Sallie. Just the nicest kind of a Christmas party where every- 
body is happy because they've made some one else happy. 

Fannie. It's a party over at Mrs. Dugan's when we give Patsy 
hia wheel chair. 

Lettie. And we want you and Mr. Grim to go. 



PATSY DUGAN'S CHRISTMAS 7 

Mrs. Grim. Of course we'll go. I wouldn't miss it for anything. 
May we take Mr. Simon Sour along? You know he boards here and 
maybe he'd enjoy seeing Patsy get the chair. 

Sallie. Oh, that old tight-fisted skin-flint? Yes, bring him 
along. 

Fannie. Maybe it will do him good. 

Lettie. Are you going to have company for Christmas, Mrs. 
Grim? 

Mrs. Grim (sadly). No — but how I wish we were. If only our 
boy could be home. It's ten years since we've seen him. He's a real 
long ways off and he's had a lot of hard luck, so he's not been able 
to get back for a visit. (Wipes eyes.) 

Sallie. I wish he could get home. I'm sure he wants to see you 
as much as you want to see him. 

Mrs. Grim. Well, I'll try to make somebody else happy; there's 
always a chance for that at Christmas. 

Fannie. Then you won't miss him so much, will you? You've 
got a true Christmasy heart. 

Lettie. Yes, you have. I do wish your son could be home. A 
visit from him would be a splendid Christmas present. 

Mrs. Grim. The best in the world — for me. 

Sallie. Come, girls, we must go find Josh and see if he got 
the things we told him. (They say goodby and hurry off.) 

Mrs. Grim. I better see how my pies are baking. I haven't 
bought much for Christmas dinner but I guess we'll get along. 
Money does go dreadful fast this time of year. Oh, I mustn't for- 
get to send some candy to little Josie Brown. (Exit.) 

Curtain 

Scene III: Mrs. Dugan's kitchen. Shabby furniture and very 
little oj it. Kitchen table has some dishes and a few eatables.) ^ 

Discovered, Mrs. Dugan, working at the table. Patsy, in old 
rocker with blanket over his knees. 

Mrs. Dugan. Sure now. Patsy boy, it's a splendid Christmas 
that's a-comin' to us. We're goin' to have an illegant dinner an' — 
don't you be breathin' I told yez, but there'll be a prisint from old 
Santy. 

Patsy (happily). Won't that be grand, mither? 

Mrs. Dugan. Jest to think o' this nice cake I'm a makin'. Sure, 
it ain't got much short'nin' in it, an' it's some lackin' in sugar, but 
--niver you fret — it'll be good fer all that. Didn't yer father — bless 
'im — used to be afther sayin' I could come the nearest to makin' a 
good cake out o' nothin' of any woman he ever knowed? That's 
what he said. 

Patsy. I wonder what I'll git from Santy. 

Mrs. Dugan. Oh, now, mebbe a nice toy to play with an' — 
mebbe a bright orange — round jist like the big world yer Uvin' on — 
mebbe a bit o' candy — an' somethin' else nice that ye'd not guess a 
tall a tall. 

Patsy. Oh, ain't Chris'mus jist grand? 



8 PATSY DUGAN'S CHRISTMAS 

Mrs. Dugan. An' now, Patsy dear, what Vv'ould yez be after 
wishin' for from Santy if ye could have jist what ye wanted? 

Patsy. Oh, to be well an' have a horse to ride, Hke the boy in 
the pitchure on the wall. 

Mrs. Dugan. W'y, darhnt, ycz don't know how to ride a horse; 
ye wouldn't even know which side of a horse to climb up on. 

Patsy. Sure, I would that. I'd get up on the outside. Ye 
needn't be thinkin' I'd ride on the inside of 'im. {Laughs.) 

Mrs. Dugan {laughing). Shame on ye, now to be makin' fun o' 
yer mither. 

Patsy. Is it soon time to be hangin' up me stockin'? 

Mrs. Dugan. Not quite yet; yez need a little more slape in yer 
eyes 'fore it's time to be slapin'. Listen! {Steps ore heard outside 
and voices sing, off the stage to tune of "Flow Gently Sweet Afton" 
— first four lines.) 

The season's glad greetings to you now we bring, 
A carol of Christmas we joyously sing; 
From turret and steeple the pealing bells ring, 
"Be merr}^ be merrj'," this message the\' fling. 

Patsy. Oh, the Christmas singers! Ask them to come in, mither. 
(Mrs. D. goes over and admits company.) 

{Enter Mr. and Mrs. Grim, Simon Sour, the three Graces and 

Jos IT.) 

Josh {merrily as they enter). Hello, Patsy. You can't guess 
who's coming. 

Patsy {beaming). W'y, all you folks, of course. Guess I sees 
you. 

Josh. Oh, somebody else — more important. 
Patsy {thinking). Now, who else can be comin'? 
Josh. W'y, Christmas, of course. 

Patsy {clasping hands). Oh, yes, Chris'mus! Aint that grand? 
Mr. Grim. And we've come over a little ahead o' time to wish 
you a Merry Christmas. 

The Other Visitors. A very Merry Christmas! 
Mrs. Dugan. Sure, now, we're glad to see yez. I wish I had 
chairs so's ye could all be sated. {She puts a chair for Mrs. Grim, 
who sits.) 
Sallie. 

Christmas should be a time of cheer, 
And lots of meiT>' fuss; 
So we have come to smile at you 
And make you smile at us. 

Josh. So give us your best grin or we're going home. (Patsy 
laughs delightedly.) 
Fannie. 

Don't lose your faith in Christmas day, 

The best time of the year; 

Have faith your stocking shall be fiUed 

When Santa doth appear. 



PATSY DUGAN'S CHRISTMAS 9 

Josh. Maybe you'll get so much for Christmas that it won't all 
go in your stocking, Patsy. 

Lettie. 

The Christmas ties of kindly love 
Grow stronger ev'ry year; 
That we may show our love for you 
We now have gathered here. 

Josh. An' if you don't love us a little in return, we'll go home 
and never come again, never. 

Patsy. Oh, I do love yez ail, I sure do! An' I love Chris'mus. 
Its the grandest, best day of all. (To Simon Sour.) Don't you 
love it? 

Simon. Well-er-I-that is — 

Patsy. Mebbe ye don't have nobody to give ye prisints. 

Simon. No, I don't. 

Patsy. Oh, I'm goin' to git a nice orange an' some candy, an' 
I'll give yez some of it tomon-ow. Can't I, mither? An' you can eat 
dinner wid us, 'cause we'll have cake. Can't 'e, mither? 

Mrs. Dugan. Sure, he can. Patsy, 

Patsy. An' I'm sure me back aint goin' to hurt so bad tomorry, 
'cause it's Chris'mus. 

Simon (aside to Josh). Say, did you get aU the money you 
needed for that chair? 

Josh (aside). All but five dollars an' I can get it all right. 

Simon. Say, I'll pay that five dollars. I'U give it to you to- 
morrow. He's a brick, that boy is. 

Mrs. Grim. Now I think we must be going. Patsy must go to 
bed so he can get up early to see what Santa brings him. 

Josh. Yes, but we want to tell you, Patsy, that we got Santa 
Claus to bring you a wheel chair — a wheel chair that you can ride 
around in. You can wheel yourself around the room in it. It'll be 
here when you get up in the morning. 

Mr. Grim. Now, won't you hke a wheel chair? 

Patsy (happily). Oh, goody, goody, goody! W'y, a wheel chair 
will be as good for me to ride in as to have a horse to ride. Oh, 
mither, mither, aint it grand? 

Mrs. Dugan (vnping eyes). God bliss ye all! 

Mrs. Grim. Now our song. (They all stand grouped around 
Patsy and sing the lines they sang before entering.) 

Simon. Say, Patsy, I do like Christmas. 

Josh (aside to Mrs. Dugan). You'll find some toys and little 
packages outside the door to put in Patsy's stocking. 

Mrs. Dugan. Oh, it's mesilf can't thank ye fer yer kindnisa. 

(// possible, turn off all lights and throw a spot light on the 
angel.) 

(Enter angel in white robe, etc.) 



10 PATSY DUGAN'S CHRISTMAS 

(At one side, at back of stage can be a box covered with dark 
cloth. The angel standi upon this with hands raised and out to the 
company.) 

Angel. Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of 
these, ye have done it unto me. 

Curtain 

Scene IV: Same a^ scenes I and II. 

(Tom Grim, dressed as Santa Claus with a mask, sits at one side 
of room where he will not he noticed at first. On the iioor beside 
him are a number oj packages.) 

(Enter Mr. and Mrs. Grim, Simon Sour, Josh, and Graces.) 

Mrs. Grim. Now come in and stay a few minutes with us. 
Christmas eve is lonely for us without our boy. 

Sallie. I do wish he could be home tomorrow. Oh — (screams) 
— w'y! 

Josh. Gee! Old Santa Claus himself. (All gaze in surprise.) 

Tom Grim (coming forward, speaking with gruff voice). Yes, 
I'm Santa. Maybe you've heard of me. 

Josh. I'U say we have, Santa. 

Tom. Well, I'm old Santa himself. I live up North at a little 
town called Clausville. I stopped in here because I want you young 
folks to do something for me. 

Josh. Sure we wiU. What's the errand? 

Tom. I want you to pile these bundles (points to packages) up 
on the table ready for Mr. and Mrs. Grim to open in the morning. 
It's their Christmas present from Santa who Uvea at Clausville. (The 
girls and Josh start to get bundles.) 

Mr. Grim. Say, what does this mean? 

Mrs. Grim. Oh, Tom, Tom, you can't fool your mother! (She 
runs to him and pulls off mask.) Oh, Tom, my boy! (Bows her 
head on his shoulder.) 

Mr. Grim. Tom, you scamp, youl (Shakes Tom's hand as if 
hefll never never stop.) 

Tom (patting mother^s shoulder). Well, well, mother, are you 
glad to see Santa, from Clausville. 

Mrs. Grim. I'm more glad to see my Tom. 

Sallie. Now you'll surely have a Merry Christmas. 

Simon Sour (happily). Christmas is a fine day. (They stand 
in a group, Tom unth his arm around his mother, and sing again the 
lines they sang in Scene III.) 

Curtain 



THE BUGBEE ENTERTAINMENTS 

ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE 



Billy's Aunt Jane. Comedy in 3 acts by Willis N. Bugbee. 
For school or community. Good darkey character. 8m., 7f. 
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THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO., SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



THE BUGBEE El !r««.«,,,ZSS 

ARE FAVORITE 




The Bughee gig 103 670 

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who go to the circus and have a gay old time. 35 cents. 

Sewing Ladies Meet, The. The ladies meet to sew but 
you know how it is— they do more gossiping than sewi^g. 
Very cute. 35 cents. 

Little Washerwomen, The. An action song for little ladies 
at their tubs. A most delightful number. 35 cents. 

Won't You Come and Play With Me? A duet for boy and 
girl, or for two boys and two girls. To be sung with actions. 
35 cents. 

Dearest Schbol of All, The. A pleasing song for a whole 
school or class. Can be used any time, or as farewell song. 
35 cents. 

We're Mighty Glad to See You. Another welcome song 
that will make the audience feel right at home. To be sung, 
with action. 35 cents. 

When Santa Had the Rheumatiz. How dreadful it would 
have been if he hadn't got cured in time to make his rounds. 
35 cents. 

There's a Welcome Here for You. A song that offers a 
genuine welcome to the audience. 35 cenfs. 

Don't Forget to Come Again. Another delightful good-bye 
song. 35 cents. 

We've Got the Mumps. A 'novelty costume song for chil- 
dren supposed to be afflicted with the mumps. 35 cents. 

The Old Home Folks. A song for adults, or older boys 
and girls, to be used on any program. 35 cents. 

Our Latch String Hangs Outside. A dandy new welcome 
song that will start your entertainment right. Sheet mu^ic. 
35 cents. 

Just Smile and Say Good-Bye. A capital song to send your 
audience home feeling good natured. Bright and catchy. 35 

De Coonville Jubilee. The 'Ristocrats of Coonville hpld a 
jubilee and "Dey don't get home till the break ob day." Sheet 
music. 35 cents. 



THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO., SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



